Day Eight: Red Cow

There is a great line in the latest Woody Allen movie “To Rome With Love” where a young student is talking to the old, “wise,” accomplished teacher. The young student utters the old adage: ” With age comes wisdom.” The teacher retorts: “With age comes exhaustion.”

I definitely feel my age and I definitely feel exhausted. I dont know exactly where its coming from. I wonder if it comes from not pushing myself to ignore myself any more or distract myself with shopping? I have nothing to do, I mean, I have my daily obligations but everything is so much less charged, crammed with “things to do.” I think the part of me that relies on pattern is confused and still waits for its appeasement.
I am evermore convicted in my goal not to shop, not to feed the beast. I am curious what this will become, how it will make me feel, what it will make me do and how I will become different, “new”, more elegant, more interesting? For the first time I feel like I am creating my future, laying down the ties that will determine where and what it will become. The process of this blog and not shopping  feels important to me, creative, urgent, springing from a real need that has pushed me to forge a direct line of communication.
At the same time, as I write, I sit in a restaurant eating my lunch and notice a woman standing in line. Off her black pencil skirted hip pops a medium size bucket bag, perfectly square, the gold hardware looks as if it came with a tomato red cow that magically appeared on earth as a gift from the gods. Peeking between the newspaper and other necessities tucked in this woman’s gorgeously understated statement bag is a swath of double G Gucci fabric lining the inside.
The best thing about not shopping:  I can appreciate fashion more than ever.

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