Last Night I Dreamed I was in a store shopping with a friend for clothes. The store was one of the vintage shops I usually visit here in Los Angeles. I wasnt looking for anything myself but spotted a Chanel tote hanging on a rack. It was white, a conservative piece but beautiful and all leathery and light beige on the inside. Not a style I would go out and buy for myself, I hesitated but put it over my shoulder, just to see. There was a Chanel logo on the outside, it reminded me of a style from the early 2000’s or late nineties. It hit my body at a lower place. I thought it looked a little matronly. Nevertheless I asked the price, the woman said: “Its $450.00 but on sale for $80.00.” I said: “Its only eighty dollars?” She said: “Its $450.00 but $80.00 on sale.” I thought whatever and that $80.00 was a great price and with that thought was the stress of do I have $80.00 to spend? The conflict: I want it, i could buy it but I cant really do it right now, this is a great opportunity…I dont know…Here is the argument that causes the mental snarlup that I am so happy I dont have to deal with this year. Besides my bank account, this is one of the main reasons I need to stop for awhile. It causes too much stress. Although it hasnt even been a week I am feeling the immense relief of knowing I dont have to participate in that conflict that for some reason my mind cant seem to stay away from without my total intervention of abstinence. I walked over to my friend to help her and then I remembered my vow not to shop. I tried to fudge it and make up some excuse. I said no to myself gently and felt allright about it. I didnt resist and it made me happy that I could keep my commitment fairly easy.
That was a nice dream. I think I had Chanel bag on the brain because of one I saw on the sitcom “House of Lies” lastnight. It was a classic quilted lambskin, a buttery canary yellow with a double chain. It looked so nice on the woman who wore it. Her hair was the same color as the bag. That was a moment that made me miss being able to shop even though I rarely buy new Chanel bags, or Chanel bags at all. As beautiful as they are I am annoyed at the markups of these high profile luxury goods. I am pretty tired of the big fashion labels but if somebody happened to float one of those Chanel bags my way I would not kick it out of my bed.